I am not good at direct observation. Whenever I try, regardless of what my subject is, I get bored, and start just making features up, that aren't there in real life. Even though I've gotten much better at it- and trust me, I have! It's still something I struggle with.

Today, I walked down the lane of my friend's house, which is still empty, and has been for a few years. We used to draw together, and in fact I credit her with any skill or talent that I have managed to hang onto today. It's always weird walking past her house knowing that it's empty, but I still do it. I couldn't peer into her garden, because a huge wooden gate was obscuring my view, so if I wanted to draw her garden, I couldn't do it- I'd just have to make the details of the plants and grass up in my head.

I stood on my tippy-toes trying to look over that gate for a while, before realising I might look crazy and suspicious.
I walked back into town and eventually back home, half dead really, and I've been stuck on it ever since. My friend really was the greatest artist. A much better artist than me. You set up some fruit for a still life in front of her and she'd recreate it beautifully, accurately, and tastefully. I, on the other hand, will not. But, she tried to help me. Tips, tricks, advise, critique, hard lessons. But I was a stupid teenager back then, and I only cared about cartoons, and comics, and anime, and actual rules and elements of art went in one ear and out the other.

Art's been weird to me my entire life, and there were points I really did want to just give up with it. But I didn't, because the last thing I ever told my friend was about my getting into art school. I wanted to send her a book or tell her to watch a show I worked on whenever that happened, but we didn't make it to that point together. So, now whenever I think of giving up, I remember she still expects that of me, and art school can't be the end of me, because I owe it to her to see this all out, and make it worth something. I really wish she could see this, right now. I think she'd be thrilled with me.


I'll never forget any of the stuff she told me, because it was important to me. At the time, I was stubborn, and I didn't want to listen to her. But I'll show you everything next time I get to see you again.

I've sold my art before, I had a phase in high school where I was obsessed with painting jean jackets, and sold a couple- one was even for a punk band in California.
But, I'm leaving the country in 3 days. And these are huge. And in my way. And they're old. I never liked them that much anyway...
And yet...I'm weirdly sad.
I guess these paintings represent everything right now, and I'm never going to see them again. I drop them off tomorrow to the store where they'll be sold.
I hope they make someone very happy. I was happy when I painted them.

Didn't I just write about how art is about immortalizing stuff or something?
Oh well ;)

-S. Cathy

Hello!

I like to talk about stuff nonstop, so on this page I will blog about art related things, and post sketchbook pages, and updates on any projects I'm currently working on- whenever possible! Or whenever good enough…

I may not be active on this blog quite yet, but please keep an eye out for me on here! :-) -S. Cathy